Trying too hard to sleep
Sleep is one of the few things that gets harder the more you try. Good sleepers don’t do anything to fall asleep. They lie down, and sleep comes. After a run of bad nights, though, many people start to work at it. They go to bed early to give sleep more chances, keep checking whether it’s coming, and lie there willing it to happen. That effort is part of what keeps them awake.
Why trying backfires
Colin Espie and his colleagues describe insomnia as sleep that has stopped being automatic. First attention turns toward sleep. Then sleep becomes something you mean to do, and then something you work at. Each step leaves the brain a little more alert, which is the opposite of what sleep needs. And every night that sleep doesn’t come seems to prove that more effort is needed.
Some signs of sleep effort:
- Lying in bed trying to make yourself fall asleep
- Checking how long you’ve been awake, or how much of the night is left
- Going to bed earlier than usual to catch up
- Treating each night as a test you pass or fail
- Feeling frustrated or tense when sleep doesn’t come quickly
Letting sleep come
Paradoxical intention turns the effort around. Instead of trying to fall asleep, you lie in bed in the dark with your eyes open and gently try to stay awake. You don’t do anything to keep yourself up. No phone, no reading, no getting up to move around. You just stop trying to sleep.
It sounds odd, and it’s meant to. With nothing to achieve, lying awake loses its pressure, and worry about not sleeping has less to hold on to. In a study by Niall Broomfield and Colin Espie, people who used it reported less effort to sleep and less anxiety about sleep than people who didn’t. A 2022 review of the research found it helped with insomnia, though most of the studies were small, so the evidence is still building.
The “Let sleep come” exercise takes you through it with a voice you can listen to in the dark. Start it at lights out, set the phone face down, and listen.
How it fits with the rest
Paradoxical intention doesn’t replace the other rules. If you’re lying awake and getting frustrated, or what feels like about 20 minutes has passed, get up and go somewhere dim until you’re sleepy, the same as stimulus control says. Keep the same wake time every day. And go to bed when you’re sleepy, not earlier to give sleep more time.
It suits some people and not others. If staying awake on purpose makes you more anxious, let it go and try something else.
Other ways to ease off
- Turn the clock away from the bed. “Clock watching” explains why.
- Notice thoughts about sleep and let them be thoughts. “Leaves on a stream” practices this.
- Use the hour before bed to wind down, not to get ready for a performance.
- After a bad night, keep the day as ordinary as you can. Canceling plans to rest makes sleep feel more fragile than it is.
References
- Espie, C. A., Broomfield, N. M., MacMahon, K. M. A., Macphee, L. M., & Taylor, L. M. (2006). The attention–intention–effort pathway in the development of psychophysiologic insomnia: A theoretical review. Sleep Medicine Reviews, 10(4), 215–245. doi.org/10.1016/j.smrv.2006.03.002
- Broomfield, N. M., & Espie, C. A. (2003). Initial insomnia and paradoxical intention: An experimental investigation of putative mechanisms using subjective and actigraphic measurement of sleep. Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 31(3), 313–324. doi.org/10.1017/S1352465803003060
- Jansson-Fröjmark, M., Alfonsson, S., Bohman, B., Rozental, A., & Norell-Clarke, A. (2022). Paradoxical intention for insomnia: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Sleep Research, 31(2), e13464. doi.org/10.1111/jsr.13464
Helpful links
Everyday Insight’s tools are for education and personal reflection. They are not therapy or medical care, and they are not for emergencies. In an emergency, call 911. If you are in crisis in the United States, call or text 988.
The exercises are in the app, under “Quiet a busy mind.” See them all